a message for the neighbor

Disclaimer: Living in the sticks isn't the worst thing in the world. It's generally quiet and usually a short car ride from wherever we may need to go on a regular basis. This message is for all the "Beths" in the world who can't mind their own damn business and seem to thrive on the misfortune of others.

Dear Beth,

I now know where the "nosy neighbor" stereotype comes from, it comes from you. You know full freaking well that my husband and I aren't big into living in suburbia, that we're here as a result of a housing choice made long before I came to living here.

When I stopped at the neighbor's garage sale at the end of the summer and introduced myself to her I was a little put off that she knew which house I lived in, how many children I have and how old they are. Let's see, how would she know that? I never met her in my life.

You know we are "hi"/"bye" people in this neighborhood. Our philosophy is that we do not live in a townhouse so there's no reason to coexist to the point of downright friendliness and familiarity for the sake of an association. If your curiosity must be satisfied regarding our social lives...my husband loves his work and does most of his socializing there, we are getting involved in our church/school and I have a handful of friends I communicate with on a regular basis.

Now, to the point...this message is all about how you told my husband yesterday about the tragic loss of our yard-behind neighbor's infant. You actually approached my husband as soon as he came home from work and ambushed him with the horrible news as he was bringing the garbage cans up the driveway. WHAT??? We barely even knew she was pregnant! How is that our business?

I've asked you about your "mom's club", I've asked you about who you use as a babysitter and you don't share ANY information about such things, things that are positive and productive. You even snickered on my son's first day of school about how far we have to drive to bring him there.

To your (and your husbands) credit, we can trust each other to be normal enough to do small favors when you/we are out of town so thanks for that but please, keep the garish, gauche gossip to yourself. I would think that you have FOUR CHILDREN would keep you busy enough to mind your own business, two does it for me!


Sincerely,
Hotdish